God's Got It

12. You’re Living in Answered Prayers (But Still Doubting God)

• Molly Rasanen & Jenn Maroney

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 54:48

In this episode, we’re coming to you from Costa Rica as we prepare to host our second international retreat—and reflecting on what it actually looks like to follow God into a big dream.

Because the truth is… you can be living in answered prayers and still feel like you’re not there yet.

We talk about why so many people stop themselves with “I could never,” and how fear, conditioning, and past experiences keep you from saying yes to what God is placing on your heart.

We also share our own journey—saying yes before we felt ready, launching things that didn’t work, losing money, and questioning if we got it wrong… and choosing to keep going anyway.

This conversation goes deeper into:

  • Why your dream might be taking longer than you expected
  • The difference between believing in God vs. actually knowing Him
  • How healing your body and nervous system impacts your relationship with God
  • Breaking out of rigid boxes and learning how to walk with Him in a real way

If you’ve been feeling stuck, discouraged, or unsure if you’re on the right path—this is your reminder:

God doesn’t give you the full blueprint.
 He gives you a step… and asks you to move.

If this episode resonated, share it with someone who needs it or reach out and let us know how it’s landed—we love hearing from you.

And as always, just remember… God’s got it.


____________________________________________________________

A faith-rooted space for women devoted to healing, embodiment, and walking with God in real life — together. Join the Living Liberated Community here. & donate here. 


Let's Connect! 

SPEAKER_00

Welcome to God's Got It, the podcast for women coming home to God.

SPEAKER_02

I'm Jen and I'm Molly, and we're just two girls walking with God, doing our best to trust the process.

SPEAKER_00

Here we'll be talking all things faith, healing, and what it looks like to build a life in Christ as we navigate the messy middle of being human.

SPEAKER_02

This is a space for the raw and unfiltered conversations about seasons that test your trust, moments that stretch your faith, and stories that remind you, no matter what's unfolding, God's got it. Okay, guys, welcome back to another episode of God's Got It. We are literally sitting in the middle of the jungle. Literally. Literally. Like we would show you, but it'll mess up the lighting. But all right here, jungle.

SPEAKER_05

Maybe we'll give you a shot of our view at the end.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Maybe. That means you have to stay to the end.

SPEAKER_02

There you go. Um, yeah, but we're getting ready to host our second international retreat. The ladies are on their way here, and we thought, hey, we've got the internet. Might as well podcast. We might as well let you in on what's going on and how we're feeling. So how are we feeling?

SPEAKER_05

What's up? What's good? I'm feeling excited. I'm feeling beyond grateful. I feel like you start every podcast, be like, I'm so grateful. But I really, I mean, I am. And I think it's important to continuously look around at our surroundings and what we're building, even when it's in its beginning stages, and be so grateful that this is our life and that we've said yes to it and that we've leaned in and that just like having these humbling moments where we realize how God is using us.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And I if you guys don't have a gratitude practice already, highly recommend you getting one. You know, I think that we're wired to automatically look for the negative things. And it is a practice. And so, yeah, I think it doesn't bother me that every time you start with, I'm so grateful, because that's a beautiful space to be in and start focusing, you know, on these little things in your day that they're happy about.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. I mean, and especially in a moment such as this. We were talking about earlier, like what we thought about podcasting. Hey, what can we talk about today? And recognizing how big both of our dreams have been and how hard it can be to realize that you are living in answered prayers when you're in the beginning stages of building something, and you wake up and you find yourself in this incredible villa in Costa Rica, and your mind is still wired to look for the things that are going wrong or to look for the things that aren't quite yet what you dreamed it should be.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Like what hasn't happened yet. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

But um, yeah, naming and talking about what it takes to actually be a dreamer and how much faith in God is required to allow yourself to dream. And now that we're sitting here talking about this and thinking about like this is even such a big part of what we're bringing into this retreat. Like, what has happened to you in your life that kept you from dreaming? Or what are the things in your life that keep you from saying yes to experiences like this or opportunities that come your way that you immediately get that internal, like, no, I could never. You were saying on the way here, you were having a conversation with some ladies. I think it was at like a hair salon, and they were all you were talking about the retreat and talking about the women coming, and they were all like, Oh my God, I could never ever do that. And it's like, yeah, as long as you think that way and you believe that way about your life, like that is true. And I'm so curious what it is about like people like us who are just like, but why, like, why not? Like, why would you want to live that way behind that fear that says, I could never have that experience. I could never create that for myself. And I think it's such an important and beautiful piece of retreat work is having conversations with the women that we're inviting into these, like, let's name it what it is, like big, scary investments, adventures. Like, probably for some of these women today, it's the first time ever leaving their children, first time ever leaving the country by themselves.

SPEAKER_02

Traveling solo. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, coming to a retreat is a is a huge ask and a huge stepping into like a future version of yourself, like knowing who you're potentially going to be on the other side.

SPEAKER_05

And it's a that saying that yes is a practice in and of itself for saying yes to doing things that feel like a big dream, right? I think about this a lot, particularly since we've been here, that we are in, we are literally on the same grounds, not the same house, but on the same property grounds, mountainside of the first women's retreat that I ever went on. And that was four years ago, right around this time. Wow. And that women's retreat gave me this like, oh my goodness, like this work is so important and it's so transformative, and there's so much here. And I want the world to know these things, and I want to do this. I had already had such a crazy travel book. I a part of my soul is just a nomad and wants to see and experience every place and every culture and every terrain and all of these adventures. And it was saying yes and leaning into that retreat when I really felt like I have no business to do this, I don't have the funds to do this. Like, who am I to say yes to such an experience? But it was saying yes, leaning in and finding a way, making a way and having faith that I didn't even know was faith at that time, that it could be possible for me, that led me to stepping into that version of myself that instead of saying, like, no, never for me, and I could never do that, has chemically changed in my brain, where now I'm just the type of person that's like, why not?

SPEAKER_02

Like, why not me? Why not me? Yeah, absolutely. And um I just remember as well, I mean, I went on my first retreat. Gosh, I think it has been like four or five years ago. And and similarly too, like I didn't have the resources to go, but there was something appalling in me. Um, and I do find for myself, I'm always like in this space of just such deep curiosity of like, what if? You know, and I do think that that is kind of like the childlike excitement in me. Um, I think I've always kind of been a big dreamer. I always get like muffled on that, on how it's gonna happen. But, you know, I always feel like I have these just really big, like, what if this and what if this and how wouldn't this be so cool if this? Um, and I remember attending that. And from the moment I walked in, get this like visceral sense of like, wow, I'm gonna change here. Something huge is going to happen for me. And I know I've shared on here before, right? Like, I, when I was away for that time and I was spending a lot of time in my word and journaling and talking with God, what kept coming through so clearly is like you are going to create spaces for people to come together, for women specifically to come together, to be held, to be seen in their experiences and to heal. And so that has just been heavy in my mind ever since then. And I went through this, like, well, how I'm not gonna be able to lead people there, but maybe I haven't really done it or experienced it myself. And so that was kind of like the initial reason for me going to a retreat. And then yeah, I had the bug after that. I was like, bro, we are going to do this. And I just really wasn't sure on the how it was all going to play out. And then I remember clear as day, I was in Greece and I was on this beautiful beach, and the sun was setting, and I was just having this moment with God of reflecting, which happens sometimes, you know, like just traversing all the moments of your life, and then you sit in this moment of like, wow, like gratitude of everything you've moved through and where you are. Like, I could have never imagined six years ago that I would have been, I was living in Greece at the time for two months, and um, it dropped down, like it felt like a lightning bolt like came into my system that said, You are going to host your first retreat and it's going to be here. And I remember like looking up and I was like, was that for me? Are you me? Are you sure? Looking around. I'm like looking around to see if there's anybody else hear that because it's like, did somebody else also have a dream to host retreats? Um, yeah, and just hitting the ground running after that. And I was, I remember talking to a mentor I had had at the time, and she's like, first retreat, you you want to do international, you want to go to Greece? Like, are you sure? And kind of like putting that doubt. And I named that to say because I think that that's what happens. That's when we start to lose our sense of dreaming. When we're kiddos, we have this big deep imagination. And then as the world starts to get a hold of us, right? People will make comments like, oh, like that's just that's silly, that's not practical. That's not realistic. That's not a realistic, right? And you start to take that in as your own stuff. And slowly, little by little, parts of your identity like get chipped away a little bit or like put put away. Um, she's obviously not my mentor anymore.

SPEAKER_01

Right.

SPEAKER_02

Um, but I was just like, You sure will. Yeah. I was like, yeah, absolutely. Um, why not? Why not? Why can't I have it in Greece? And just started that beautiful unfolding and had that first one, and it was small and intimate and beautiful. And I was like, this is what I want to do. This is what I want to do. Watching so many transformations right before my eyes. How could I not? How could I not be on this mission that God has put on my heart to draw women closer to a relationship with Him, to give them the space to really feel safe enough to explore some of those avenues in their life that maybe, you know, they just don't get the time to do on a day-to-day basis and go home and like step into this, you know, their most authentic version of themselves, like who they've like always been, but like tapping back into it.

SPEAKER_05

And as you're talking about that, I'm reflecting on the reality that that is what a journey home to God is, right? We come into this world, this precious little light. And then as we grow, we know, as nervous system coaches and somatic facilitators, the actual science behind how the life experiences that we have shape our psyche and the way we see the world and the way we operate and the way we believe, like, no, not for me. That's too big. I could never do something like that. All of that comes from the experiences that we're having throughout our life that are bringing us further and further and further and further away from that original essence that we came into this life as when we were so connected to God and didn't even know that's what we were as children, right? And then you have all these experiences, and the people around you, parents, teachers, friends, bosses, all of these people have so much influence on that essence that was once so connected to God. And this work that we're talking about doing in retreat spaces, in somatic work through this podcast is inviting people to sit with the parts and pieces of themselves that don't believe that they are worthy of that original love and direct connection to God, right? And we've talked at length. It's really interesting to be in this place where we have this podcast called God's Got It. And we have made kind of a bit of a loud transition over the last year, really claiming Jesus, right? Like we claim Jesus is our Lord and Savior, absolutely. Or our anger, or our anchor, and that He is the one guiding all of the decisions, all of the choices, everywhere that we're going, everything that we're doing. But I've also found that in coming home to that and claiming that we've bumped up against some boxes that we might feel like we're not fitting in directly because of the type of work that we're doing, because we're somatic facilitators, because we're uh talking about trauma healing through the body so that you can have an embodied experience of coming home to Christ, not just a mental experience. And I know we've talked just at length about the way the projections and ideas and beliefs that have been conditioned into other people, right, can create these constructs that make you feel maybe as a Christian that a retreat isn't a space for you. And that's why we've had so many of these talks that are around wanting to break that mold and open up somatic and trauma-healing spaces as a safe space for people who claim Christ and are Christians to come because there's this gap that needs to be bridged between this, like, yes, I claim Christ and I know Christ and I follow Christ, and the transformation that is talked about throughout the Bible that we know from experience is an embodied transformation of what that light and love of God can do in your life, which is bring you back to that natural essence of being able to dream and go after the things you want and be a creator, right? Like the entire business that I'm building right now is about coming back to that original blueprint as a creator and creating from the story that God's written on your life. And I just, as we sit here and reflect on these things and are sitting in this beautiful place that was a dream dropped into both of our laps by God, I just can't help but feel like sometimes these boxes that we place ourselves in keep us, and even when it comes to like, I'm in this box because this box is what it means to be a Christian or what it means to follow Jesus can keep us disconnected from the truth of the embodiment that Jesus was here to like usher us into, you know? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, that was beautifully said. I don't even know how to follow up on that. I'm like, was it?

SPEAKER_02

It felt rambly, but I no, no, no, no, it was just no, it was it was good. It was good and and real. I mean, we've gotten so far from like big dreaming. And I think a part of that too, which we were you were chatting about earlier, um, or maybe it was on your story that I would love to talk about here is like the time that it takes. I think sometimes we get a dream or an idea, and then it doesn't happen exactly how we see it in our minds. Or the way that we see it happen for someone else. Right. Yeah, exactly. Right. Like we're looking at other people, it's like, wow, they've got, you know, 20 people at their retreat, or, you know, they're doing this thing and they're making thousands of dollars. And you start to get into this space of like, a comparison, but B, then like, if this is taking so long or so hard, maybe this wasn't from God. Maybe I just like, you know, made this thing up, but this isn't really what he wants for me. And then you end up talking yourself out of this big dream that you have that God like put it, like I'm a very firm believer that if it's placed in your heart and you think about it and it's like something that's always circling around, it's there for a reason. And God wants you to execute it. God wants you to take some aligned action on that. And I think too often we're like, all right, well, this is my vision. So now I'm gonna like sit and I'm gonna pray and say, dear God, I really want to make a million dollars. I really want to make impact. I want to do the thing, but you're not taking any steps in that direction. And how you were naming earlier, like the steps it took for you to get to a space hosting the retreats and what that looked like and things like that.

SPEAKER_05

Or you take, you do take a few steps, right? But it's not as straightforward or simple or easy as you wanted it to be. So then you take that as evidence that you have failed at something, or like you said, this wasn't from God. I must not be on the right track, because if it was from God, it should be easy, which let me just break that for you right here is an absolute lie. God is going to use the entirety of your experience, all the action you take to actually shape you into the human who can hold those blessings and those dreams that you're waiting to come true, right? And I know you named you wanted to talk about that story I put up. Like when it comes to us sitting here in this house in Costa Rica, hosting this retreat, waiting for these women to arrive. This has been a more than four-year-old in the making dream for me. And I can even sit in it and still be like, I'm not there yet, right? Because it's like, I don't have 15, 20 people showing up to my retreat yet. But four years ago, I went on that first retreat that dropped that feeling in my heart of wow, this is really important work and really important specifically for women, I want to name. I mean, it's important for everyone, but there's something truly about women coming back to their bodies and working through the shame that has been instilled inside of us around our bodies or the ideology that our bodies are property in some way, right? Like there's so much there that we're not gonna get into in this conversation. And then I'll take it a step further and even more specifically for women who have been through really traumatic experiences when it comes to their bodies, right? So that's a big, a big part of the why for me in this dream is I have lived the suffering, the hell of not being connected to my body and being so disconnected from it because of trauma. And I've lived through the healing that happens, the healing that is available to us when we learn about somatics and we learn about our nervous system and we take the time to go back to those places and excavate those things that are keeping us stuck in cycles. Um, I digress four years ago. That first retreat is what opened that up for me. And then I was like, okay, yeah, I want to be a facilitator. And I took all these trainings and I did all the work and I was, I was in it. I was living it every single day. A year and a half later, I launched my first retreat. And I mean, mistakes were made. I booked an extremely expensive house that had absolutely no cancellation policy. Two women signed up, and I ended up needing to pay more than what I had charged the two women to come to the retreat to put this thing on because at that point I didn't have a choice. I had to, yeah, it had to be paid for. And it was still a beautiful experience. But I could look back at that experience and think, like, oh, well, I failed and I lost out on money and this, that, the third. But I got to step into that dream, be a facilitator, hold my own space for the first time. And then after that, I did. I felt defeated, right? And I had to go through that process of feeling that defeat and feeling like, why does this happen so easily for everybody else? And like, what's wrong with me? And why isn't it happening for me? And it wasn't for another two years that you turned around and asked me, like, hey, do you want to facilitate together? And I will name throughout that two-year period, I was saying, I know that retreats are a part of my path and my process, and I know that that's a piece of my medicine and what God has for me here, but I don't want to do it alone. I don't want to do it by myself. I don't, I don't want to carry that whole weight and load on my own. So when you asked me if I'd be open to facilitating with you, that was a complete answered prayer, like dream come true. And then we said yes, hit the ground running. And seven months later, we had the Italy retreat. And then we were traveling to the Italy retreat when we were like, okay, we're doing Costa Rica in March. And it's just such an ode to the resilience, resiliency, and faith in the dreams that God gives you, that He is going to make them come true if you stay the course. But he can't do that for you if you're willing to allow your first setback or the first time you fall on your face, or the first time you feel a little silly or stupid, stop you in your tracks and say, like, yes, this isn't for me because it's not easy. I should just quit here because I'm a failure. And then you fall back into all those same stories as that teach you why you're disconnected from God and why you can't have the things it is that He's placed on your heart. And that's where this dance and journey really becomes a choice. It's free will to decide: am I gonna lean into faith or am I gonna hide behind fear? And there are going to be so many opportunities. Once it's like you don't just lean into faith once and then snap your fingers and it's all done. You are continuously deciding, I'm leaning into faith, I'm leaning into faith, I'm leaning into faith, I'm leaning into faith. And it never gets any easier, right? Maybe you get a bit braver and your connection to God grows a bit stronger, where you're like, well, he's caught me 10 out of 10 times. So why isn't he gonna catch me this the 11th time, even if I'm really kind of afraid and questioning and being like, God, are you sure? Are you really there? Um, but yeah, it's like the entire journey of whatever it is that you are being asked to create is an opportunity for you to come fully home to him and live in that surrendered state of safety and security and abundance and provision that only he can offer you, but it is such a journey to allow yourself to get there.

SPEAKER_02

It's like a moment by moment journey for me. And I have low frustration tolerance. Like, I just gotta own that. Like I for sure, I definitely do. Okay, you didn't have to like answer so aggressively, jeez, guys. I think I have it too a bit. No, like I want, like when I want something, I want it now, and I fall into that often pattern, like I named of like, why is this so hard? Like it does it shouldn't be this hard. And And as I've named multiple times on here, nowhere in the Bible does it say that this walk is gonna be easy and like I'm just gonna snap my fingers and it happens. Like, there's no, like, God doesn't have a timeline. And as you said earlier, and I love that, is that God has a work to do in me still, right? Like I can have this big dream of, you know, building this amazing life insurance agency and us having this accrete, um, an incredible retreat business and stuff. But if I'm not a good steward of what he's already given me, like he's not gonna give me more. And I forget that all the time, right? Like, so it's kind of like you're you're getting um, you know, sharpened in in in the process. And like, it's not that I'd love to know your thoughts on this. Like, does God test us? I don't think so. But I listened to something the other day and was saying that, like, yes, God runs us to through tests. I don't know that I agree with that, but I do think there's like a certain level of like, God isn't just going to hand us over things, He is going to expose our heart. You know, what's your intention behind this? Like, for me, for a while, it was like, just, you know, make all the money and like have all the wealth and you know, the things and be well known, as myself. Like, I don't want to have all the followers and I want people, like, as soon as I put my name in people's mouth. Yes, right. And we always say, like, don't have my name in your mouth. Like, please, please have my name in your mouth when it comes to business. Like, call me. Um, yeah, and um, well, now I lost my train of thought, being all being all funny there. But um, oh, my my heart posture wasn't right about it. It was, you know, I'm just trying to um be wealthy, have all of these things, and losing sight of the real mission and have everything I want as fast as I possibly can.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Use the posture of selfish ambition versus godly ambition. And I do think selfish ambition is an initiation when you're talking about service-led entrepreneurship and business, right? We all as human beings have these selfish desires, these things that we want fulfilled in our lives. And I feel like I say this ad nauseum, but that those desires are actually just a desire to know God, right? The desire to have all the money is to have the safety or the security or the luxury, all of those things. And really at the bottom of that is just a desire to be fully provided for, fully safe in the faith that we have in Him. So it's almost an initiation. And when you ask that question, does God test us? Immediately my brain was like, I don't think he tests us, but he trains us. And training can feel like a test when you are training and failing and training and failing and training and exhausted and feeling like you are falling, like falling on your face over and over and over again. It could be like, God, why are you doing this to me? And he's like, I'm not doing this to you. I'm doing this for you. I'm doing this through you. And it is only through training that he can fortify us into the vessels we're meant to be, right? Like we have to be trained through that selfish ambition. It has taken me five years to, and I'm not perfect at it either, right? Like I still am like, okay, God, yeah, I'm like so grateful to be of service and so grateful that everything is working out so perfectly here. And we're sitting in this incredible place in Costa Rica, and maybe next time, maybe like a few more people next time, right? Like that would feel really good. And it takes a continuous daily, like you said, moment-to-moment effort to be like, actually, God, this is enough. Everything that you have provided in this moment, right here, right now, is enough. Can I be so grateful for this moment that you have orchestrated that goes so far beyond what I can conceive in my mind, right? And I think that's another piece of retreat work that I'm so in love with is we are not the ones weaving the web of who shows up, the connections that are going to be made, the friendships that are going to be formed, the conversations that are going to be had, one person's experience and their willingness to open up about it that's going to trigger another person to have a memory about something that they didn't even haven't thought about in 30 years, that all of a sudden is the key to why they've been feeling so down or depressed or fearful about taking that next step in their life. And it's such a beautiful space to, and I'm just realizing this in real time, actually witness the way God weaves, right? Because we are only in control of saying yes, building a landing page, posting content, reaching out and having conversations to people who have interest. We are, we have no control over who says yes, who ends up here, and what the time that we have together unfolds to be. Like all of that, all of it is God, but all of that allows you to really witness the way that God is working through humanity, right? Not just through the Bible and our private time with Him and our private prayer and that direct connection that we have in our conversation, but God is always working through every single aspect of his creation. And I never witness that more fully than I do being completely present on retreat, witnessing God's creations open up and be vulnerable about their human experience and about their hopes and about their dreams and about their downfalls and about their fears.

SPEAKER_02

If you're loving this conversation and you've been wanting a deeper way to walk with God in the real, raw and messy nature of your everyday life, we'd love to invite you to join us inside of Living Liberated, our faith-based devotional community built to help you navigate what it really looks like to give your life to God. This is a devotional space where we gather weekly as women to pray together, heal together, and grow alongside one another. We offer a seven-day free trial so you can check us out with no strings attached. There's never any commitment except for the one you are creating between you and God. Click the link in the show notes to check it out. We can't wait to welcome you in.

SPEAKER_05

That connection, those connections that are created, like that's God working in real time to help facilitate that return home to Him for each individual person and the collective of the people who are involved. It's such an incredible thing to witness. I've never articulated that before, this moment of really being able to prophetically see the way that God weaves when you say yes to putting out an invitation to people to like, hey, do you want to come have this experience that's so outside your comfort zone that's going to touch into maybe some parts and pieces of yourself that you at one point were taught to leave behind or to repress or to suppress. And we're also going to lean into conversations around God and faith and invite you into a deeper experience of that relationship. And all of that is God doing his work through us to bring more people home.

SPEAKER_02

And how cool! Like that's what we were kind of, you know, this this house has a sick pool, by the way, guys. And this morning, Molly and I were sitting over there and yeah, just reflecting on how incredible that this gets to be our life. And how, like, I it's weird because I woke up this morning and I named to you, like with a heaviness, because it feels it's it is a big responsibility. There's a weight to it for sure. Yeah. And it's and and I like you naming that though. Like we're really we can get ourselves like our human is really worked up on it. And like, you know, are the towels right? And does the room look nice and the thing and the food and the this and the that but really gonna feel like how can I control that they're gonna be control everyone's experience and make sure they're like wowed and like they have some massive breakthrough. And it's like, it's not about me. Like I have no control over that. But God is using us as the vessel to facilitate that for people, to create and and hold a space that is really safe and allow them to be seen. And I do think that is a gift that God has given both of us because of our unique experiences of being very dysregulated, going through traumas, feeling disconnected from our body and and falling into those traps of like the mind games that we can play with ourselves. And so I do think that he has gifted us that. And so, what started as like a heaviness this morning, and kind of in this space of like, oh my gosh, like, can I do this? Like, do I have this in me? Very quickly, we put on some worship music and we were sitting at the pool, and it just like I'm putting my hands up and I'm crying, and but it's like of joy because how lucky am I that God has chosen me to be a person, like a vessel to share his mission and what he's trying to accomplish here on earth.

SPEAKER_05

And I think without going into a place of inflating self, I also want to speak into the human experience and bravery it takes. Where it's like, yes, it's so lucky and thank you, God, but also it's because we've chosen, right? Like God has given us the gift of his creative power through our lives. He's given us the gift of Jesus so that we may be directly connected, right? Have that direct human connection to God. And he's also given us the gift of free will. And that's what we're speaking about when we're having this conversation around the choices you choose in your life, whether you're going to lean into experiences, dreams, desires, goals, retreats, right? Adventures that are going to offer you the opportunity to grow closer to him, or whether you're going to hide behind fear your whole life. And that's a choice, too, right? It might not feel like a conscious choice. I think for a lot of people it's a very unconscious choice, but it's a part of free will. God has given us free will of like you can either have this experience of life where you know me and I create through you, and you are a part of my greater plan here. Or you can have the free will to choose to be in opposition to that. And so much of that opposition, again, I have to name it so unconscious, we don't realize that we're doing it, but that's where this piece we're talking about of nervous system work and somatic work and trauma healing work plays such a big part in coming home to Christ. At least it has for me. Like that is that is such an honest and true and full piece of my story as a trauma survivor. I don't know that I would have found Jesus if it wasn't for all of the somatic work that I did to open up my heart, my mind, and my body enough to have that experience of allowing him in, you know, and and that's just my experience. I'm not saying it has to be that way for everyone, but there is a correlation between those two things, between healing your heart, healing that hardening that's happened around your heart, healing those protective mechanisms that keep you on defense from the world and in fear that something bad is always going to happen. And for me, my process was learning to do that trauma healing work and getting into my body and understanding the way that my nervous system works that led to coming home to Christ and accepting Jesus into my life. And I just kind of see this again, gap that exists inside of religious spaces where we actually had a lot of feedback around this retreat because we are faith-based and we talk very openly about Jesus and we talk very openly about being Christian. And a lot of people were like, ooh, like that seems really new. Like what you're doing seems really new agey. And there's this fear around very real, scientifically backed trauma healing experiences and practices and things that can actually free your nervous system and your body from circling in the loops of the things that have happened to you in the past. And that doesn't mean I'm not sitting here and denying that Christ can't do that for you. But Christ, Jesus, God is also the one who so intelligently created these bodies and the mechanism that they are, right? So why wouldn't we go to the ends of the earth to fully understand this creation that we get to take a part in and this vessel that He's gifted us, right? And so many of us walk around in the world as like a head cut off from the body. And I even see that in some of the Christian and religious spaces where all of the work around God is intellectual. It's this set of rules, this thing that is said this way in the Bible that you can only read this one way. It's not up for interpretation. And I just think it's missing such a depth of what when you have that somatic experience of coming home to Christ and feeling that love in every single part of your body. There are different ways that you read and interpret and ingest that scripture because it's not just something you're reading and trying to understand logically, it's something you're reading and you're like, oh my God, I'm experiencing that relationship with God. I'm experiencing that connection. And there's no longer a, it's not believing or disbelieving, it's your experience. Like I know God in every part of my being. It's not something I have to choose to believe or choose to convince myself of. It's something that I knew in my body before I even accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. And that feels like a really scary thing to say as somebody who is a Christian. Um, because you you come home to Christ and all of a sudden there's all these boxes that you're supposed to check, or this big box that you're supposed to fit yourself inside of and leave behind anything that was before you found him, right? Meanwhile, I believe with every fiber of my being that it's everything that I had done up until the moment that I accepted him into my heart that opened my body up to have that experience, to be able to know him as deeply as I do.

SPEAKER_02

100% like I agree with you. It's like a there's a difference between believing in God and and like I believe I know and I know God. And from a very like scientific, like if you look and follow any of these lines of things you're struggling with, um fears about money, success, perfectionism, you're about all of those things, if you follow that thread down, it's going to come down to some very core wounds or needs around I want to be seen, I want to feel safe, right? And that's you can read the Bible all day long, but if you're just taking it in, like you said, and it's just landing in your brain, but you're not feeling it or really taking it in, it's just gonna stay surface level and you're gonna get stuck in that like very dogmatic, like these rigid great word, um, rules. And I just I love that you named about that box, man, because when I really leaned into my faith, I was so frustrated because there were these tools. I know we've named this. Me getting on a mat in a yoga class, me learning breath work will never be demonized by me. I will never say they are bad because I met Jesus. He came and found me at my lowest moment and helped me heal on a mat, moving my body, coming into communion. Like through breathing, through understanding and learning about my nervous system, how I can control what's happening and releasing things in my system through how I'm breathing, like brought me in a closer relationship. So miss me, miss me with all of that. But I hear you like it can be frustrating of like where we fit in all of that. Um, I also just think if we use our minds, right?

SPEAKER_05

Like, follow this for a minute. You come home to Christ, and Christ is all about union, being in union with God, being in that wholeness with God, being in direct relationship with how perfectly He has created every single hair on your head, every single moment of your life, right? And the things that actually cause evil in this world are those wounds of separation. And if you think about the fact that in Christianity, there is so much demonization, so much fear of anything outside of this logical linear way to read the rule book that says this is how you have to live. And that's not, I love the Bible. I read the Bible every day. It has been an incredibly transformative experience for me to be in the word. And when we are disconnected from our bodies, we are disconnected from a part of self, and therefore we are still going to continue to choose to move from separation. That's going on a little bit of a separate tangent, but what I was going to name is you see a lot of fear-mongering inside of Christianity that says, like, this is demonic, that's demonic, don't do this, don't do that. All of it is like the enemy at work, right? Coming down to yoga, meditation, those sorts of practices. And I don't know the exact answer to this, and I feel like I could get a lot of pushback for it. But to me, that constant strong arming of like, that's demonic, that's demonic, that's dark, that's dark, everything's dark outside of just exactly this one straightforward fundamentalist interpretation of this book, you're perpetuating separation. You're perpetuating the exact thing that you claim to be fighting against that Jesus here was here to rectify, which was our separation from God. Right. And I think about this very often because I feel very similarly to you that my introduction into any sort of spirituality, like there was not an ounce of God in your girl's life. Okay. And the introduction to me to the reality that there was even something more beyond myself, my selfish desires, the darkness, my depression, my anxiety, was learning how to breathe in a yoga class. And I'm sorry, but taking that route is what ended up me coming home to Jesus. And I will say that forever. That I, if I never stepped on a yoga mat, I don't know that I would have found Christ. Yeah. And at least not in the way that I know him today. And I think that that's the difference that we are here to bridge between this very heady, I want, I almost want to say, like old world fundamentalist way of being in Christianity that's very rigid, very judgmental, very divisive, very us versus them, very everything outside of this one thing that this one box in the way that we've been taught to believe is wrong and it's bad and it's shameful. Like, listen to those words that are coming out of my mouth. It is so divisive. Yeah, you're making me stress. It's sweaty. It's so divisive. And you look at the life of Jesus and the sins that he was sitting with people around, and the way that he was like, It's it's all you're it's okay. It's okay. He didn't go out to the Gentiles and be like, the way that you are all practicing is demonic and you're all demonic. Right? He was inviting people into this way of knowing God through his being because he embodied God. I mean, he was God, right? But he was emanating God through every pore of his being. So of course he wasn't condemning and shaming and judging and creating more division and shame for people, right? And I just things like that, it's like we gotta, we gotta be able to read the Bible and be so surrendered to Jesus and also remain critical thinkers. Yeah. Remain critical thinkers because there's still so much work to do in the world, right? Like if that one way, that one box, that very rigid fundamentalist way that we're talking about was the way and the truth and the life that Jesus was talking about, like, don't you think it would have worked by now? Don't you think there wouldn't be so many people who are so fearful of coming home to Christ because they're afraid of that shame and that judgment and that condemnation, which Christ literally said there is no condemnation in Christ? That part. That part. I mean, I could go on and on and on about this, but I just I feel I believe with my whole heart that we are God's creation, and so we are living on the leading edge of God's creation. And God's creation is continuously being created through us. And it is through this critical thinking and through thinking with our hearts and leading with love and leading with union that we actually can come to find that at the core of so many of these philosophies and ways of being is this truth that we're all aiming for. And yes, I believe that at the absolute bottom of all those barrels is Jesus. Like he was God embodied on earth. Um, but some of the ways in which religion has just hijacked and boxed in and shamed and kept it's kept people in division. It's actually kept people in greater division than what is actually available. For them in the fullness of in the fullness of Christ. Get me down off my soapbox. Woo!

SPEAKER_02

That one is on fire. So bringing it full circle, y'all. Back to dreaming. I mean, how did we get it? We were like, we're literally just gonna talk about being a dreamer. Yeah. And I'm like, we're dreaming. No, it's good. That was like all really fire stuff. And I think, you know, important to let the people who are like whoever you are that's listening to us, like a little bit of our heart and like the posture we have behind this podcast, our business, like what we are creating. And it is a part of like a it is our big dream that we are helping people come home into their body so that they can have that deep, intimate connection with knowing Jesus, rather like taking it not just from the Bible, which is great, and feeling it and experiencing it. And that is our big dream.

SPEAKER_05

Boom, brought it full circle, brought it full circle to take to tear down the fear-mongering that exists. Yeah, man. Because okay, let's bring it back here for a second, because I always want to also like shine a little light on the reality that like following a strictly new age path without Jesus, which is where a lot of these healing and trauma I I don't even want to say that's where they come from. They are used very often in that those spaces. It's those spaces that people often find those practices, right? And then they can become incredibly self-obsessed. And you go down the rabbit hole of manifestation and what I want and me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. And God and Jesus isn't at the center of that. That's gonna lead you down a dark, slippery slope of let's just call it what it is, worship and worshiping Satan, which is worship worshiping self, separation from God. Right. And I think a big part of the mission that God's put on both of our hearts through the stories He's had us live is to not throw the baby out with the bathwater, to acknowledge the darkness that exists on a path without Jesus and to also hold true to the reality of coming home to God through your body, and that doing so is not dangerous, that doing so actually leads to a fuller, more complete, experiential connection to God. That is not just in your head following a rule book, being rigid, being religious about it, right? And anytime I go down this rabbit hole and I think about these things, I think about how many of the stories in the Bible are Jesus adamantly speaking out against the spirit of religion, the Pharisees. The you follow all these rules and you say all these things and you spew all this shame and you're strong arming people and and shaming people, but you don't know me. You don't know my father, right? And we see that still to this day inside of the way that people want to rigidly box people into what it has to look like. And we just want y'all to know the fullness of the experience that we know and not be afraid to go beyond the bounds of what somebody else says is right or true, and to not be afraid of your own hearts, because that is the place where God is always going to be speaking to you, and to see the parts in the Bible where Jesus is repeatedly saying, like the kingdom of heaven is within you, the connection to God is within you, within you, meaning within this body, and that we have all these powerful tools and knowledge and science and realizations at our fingertips that are continuously being kind of shamed and pushed away because of the fear that's been instilled over time in the rhetoric that is very uh, very religious.

SPEAKER_02

100. That's part of my dream.

SPEAKER_04

There you go. Bringing it back to dream, bringing it back to dream. So part of my dream. I just want the world to know God. I want the whole world to know God through their bodies and to experience the life of salvation that actually exists in him because that's what we're doing right now.

SPEAKER_02

Well, there you go, guys. That's that's it. Hopefully you have um, you know, hopefully for for real, for real. Hopefully this has landed in your system and it's like just in an invitation for you to really get curious, right? Where am I playing small or allowing myself to shrink from these bigger ideas and visions and things like that that I have in my life? Am I do am I believing in God or do I know Him? Like, can I fully trust and believe that if I have this big vision or dream or goal for my life, that I am supported in that? Even when it doesn't come fast, even when you stumble, even when you're like get in your head and have those like very normal human thoughts of like, is this for me? Was this not for me? This is hard, I don't want to do it, and all of that stuff. Like, can you know that he already knows that you're going to have that struggle and trust that if it's there, it's there for a reason.

SPEAKER_05

Um, and that his plans are so much bigger than your plans. And part of his plan, kind of coming back to that thing that you said earlier, like, does God test us? Part of his plan is the struggle that you're gonna, like, he knows that you're gonna struggle, but he's there to hold you in that struggle if you are willing to continuously call out to him. And the entire experience of actualizing your dreams, actualizing, let's say this, actualizing God's dreams for you, because sometimes you'll realize along this path, I think it's happened for both of us, that the dreams you have for yourself are not the same dreams that God has for you. Um the the avenue of the dream might be the same, but the what you're chasing after in that dream and what God actually has for you in that dream can be two very different things. But when you the entire process of leaning into faith that you can have this dream come true life is an opportunity for you to strengthen your relationship with God. And that's what we want for all of you. That's what we want for everyone who listens to this podcast, who interacts with God embodied, who interacts with living liberated. I mean, y'all, we do not have it all figured out, but what we do have is a really solid connection and foundation and relationship with God, with Jesus, with the truth of love. And we are just here to spread that as far and as wide and to as many other human beings on this planet as we can. Just like Jesus did.

SPEAKER_02

That's right. I mean, and I'll always say, you know, I'm a hashtag work in progress. I don't always um do that again. Hashtag. That's my isn't that what the kids do? Hashtag. I think the kids would be like, whatever, I'm old, guys. Hashtag work in progress. Um, I miss the mark sometimes, but yeah, that's what that's what this is about. So if you're, you know, tuning in here and you've got questions, pop them below. Let us know, reach out to us. Um, we have a community where we meet every week and we dive into topics like this, and it's a space for people who are curious, who are walking home towards God and and are looking for a box that you fit into. And you're like, I don't like this, this space is created for those, for those people, for us to have those real honest conversations and you feel safe to just be curious and ask the questions. Um, and the same thing for our retreat spaces. So drop any questions, any thoughts you have on this conversation below. We would love to riff with you, talk with you, um, love on you, whatever, whatever you need. This is our big dream and mission.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. And we just ask, like for anybody listening, if anything that we do say triggers you in any which way, be willing to have an open, honest conversation about that, right? Like, shoot us an we are so, I'm like, please, please email me. I love getting emails.

SPEAKER_00

I don't love getting emails.

SPEAKER_05

I mean, emails about this stuff. Like people are like, I'm so, I want to go deeper into this conversation. And I even want to name, you just said you if you're looking for a box that you fit into, and I want to kind of like shift that, just tweak it a little bit, like looking for an avenue home to God and Jesus that goes beyond the box of what people have been that what what people say it has to look like. Because I think that's been a struggle for both of us in in our Christian walk of am I doing this right? Am I doing it good? Am I do I have to denounce absolutely everything that I have ever been before I found Jesus? And if we're really honest and authentic and true, I'm sorry, but the answer is no. Yeah, no, for sure.

SPEAKER_02

And she's just more articulate than me, guys. That's what I meant. Like a non-box box is what I meant to say. But you know, it's live. Thank you out of the box. I'm literally, yes, thank you. Okay, I'm on the spot, I'm nervous. She speaks better. It's fine. Um, yeah, come hang out with us. Do the things in your head in. Oh, and this is why we work so well together. It's great.

SPEAKER_05

It's perfect because we are imperfect humans and we do not have all of the answers, but we are so open-hearted, honest, and so devoted to God. Like, you have no, like the way that some I what I wake up and wonder so often, like people have upset like obsessions with things, right? Like their thing, what it is that they're so in love with, they're so passionate about. Like some people, it's cooking, it's music, it's dance, it's boats, it's fishing. And I'm like, mine's gone. Yes.

SPEAKER_02

How lucky are we? How lucky we're great as passionate life gets weak. Oh my gosh. All right, guys, we gotta wrap it up because our girlies are gonna get here any moment. So that's a wrap. But thanks for hanging out with us. Thanks for listening in, tuning in. You know what I'm gonna tell you until next time. Don't ever forget it. God's got it. Okay, guys, that's a wrap. If today's episode spoke to you, please let us know. Leave us a comment or reach out via email.

SPEAKER_03

If you know someone who would benefit from this message, please take a moment to share it with them and make sure to hit the subscribe so that you never miss an episode.

SPEAKER_02

Thanks for spending time with us today. We hope you leave your reminder that whatever season you're in right now, God's got it.